Why You Shouldn’t Try to Be Good at Feldenkrais (And Why Frustration Helps You Learn)
This month, I’d like to talk a bit about learning—it’s a fundamental part of growth and development. Without it, we would never improve. And ultimately, isn’t that what we’re all here to do?
If you’re new to this work, you might want to start with my guide to what the Feldenkrais Method is, which explains how learning and awareness are at the heart of moving more easily and comfortably.
Can you remember how you learned to roll over? Crawl? Stand up for the first time? Walk?
Learning is an amazing process. Once we’ve learned something, it doesn’t take long before we become completely unconscious of how we did it.
Cast your mind back to the last time you learned a new skill. Was it learning a language? Learning to drive? Picking up a new hobby like cross-stitch or crochet? How about gaming? Or something more physical like paddleboarding?
These are all skills we took time to learn, going through the process from not knowing to knowing.
Ideally, we want that process to be as fun and enjoyable as possible—but sometimes there are tricky moments that take a little more patience. In this article, I want to share a simple model for learning, and why those frustrating moments are actually essential for improvement.
Set Your Goal Before You Start
Whatever your aim—whether it’s to de-stress, improve mobility, manage pain, or work on posture and breathing—when you come into a Feldenkrais lesson (or a Pilates, yoga, or movement class), take a moment to consider your goal and how you’ll get there.
Last month, I talked about the essential role of awareness and how paying attention to how we think, feel, sense, and move is key to development. The great news is that when we become more aware of what we’re doing and how we do it, we generally get better at it.
With repetition, this becomes learning.
If something feels difficult, knowing your why is key to staying motivated and remaining in the learning process.
This idea of paying attention to how you move is central to awareness in the Feldenkrais Method.
The 4 Stages of Learning
Take learning to drive, for example. It might seem simple now, but we all know exactly what the goal was: get a licence to drive.
There are four stages we move through:
Unconscious Incompetence
Before I even decided to learn to drive, I had no idea how to do it. I was completely unaware and had no interest.
Conscious Incompetence
I realised I could gain more freedom, independence, and carry more stuff. That motivation kept me going.
So, I took some lessons and started the process. I wanted to learn, but I didn’t yet have the skill.
This is the most frustrating—but most important—stage.
Conscious Competence
After some practice, I started remembering the manoeuvres and repeating the skills.
When I was thinking, sensing, feeling, and moving in a coordinated way—with full attention—I was able to drive.
Unconscious Competence
I passed my test. After a while, I’d hop in the car and—boom—I’m at the supermarket before I know it.
Now I can drive with skill and safety while letting my awareness focus on other things.
The Real Goal: Effortless Coordination
This is the goal of learning: to expand our awareness so that the most important things get our focus, while the skills we’ve mastered fade into the background, requiring minimal effort.
We want to move with coordination, ease, and clarity—so we can enjoy time with friends and family, and do the things we love without being distracted by discomfort or strain.
Maybe you can remember those early days of frustration—struggling with clutch control, mirrors, signals…
Those moments are not failure. They are learning.
This is the stage of conscious incompetence—the uncomfortable but essential phase where real change happens.
Learning anything requires resilience: the ability to stay in that uncertain place where you don’t know it yet, but are willing to keep exploring.
We all have different tolerances for frustration, and we all learn in different ways and at different speeds. And that’s okay.
What Learning Looks Like in a Feldenkrais Lesson
In a Feldenkrais lesson, we often spend time in this slightly confusing learning zone.
Some movements will feel easy and familiar. Others may feel awkward or unclear—like mixing up the pedals when learning to drive.
This is exactly where learning happens.
You don’t have to be good at it.
In fact, trying to “get it right” can sometimes get in the way.
Instead, the invitation is to move slowly, pay attention, and allow yourself to explore—even if it feels unfamiliar.
Getting it “wrong” is part of the process.
Build Resilience, Speed Up Learning
The more comfortable you become with this learning zone, the more effective your learning becomes—and the more lasting the results.
This is also closely related to how we work with movement habits—gently noticing what we do, and discovering new possibilities rather than forcing change.
Ready to Embrace the Learning Zone?
If you’re curious how this approach fits into a bigger picture of learning, awareness, and reducing effort and pain, you can read more about what the Feldenkrais Method is.
Or, if you’d like to experience it directly, join me for a Feldenkrais lesson—online or in person—and discover how small, mindful movements (and a little bit of healthy frustration) can transform the way you move and feel.